Today’s Thoughts

Ya’ll,

Can I just say….adulting is SO dumb. So. DUMB. Like why can’t we just go back to the days of growing our own veggies and stuff and selling them and trading them for like eggs or something?? We’d all rather have the fresh ones from the gardens and the chicken coops anyways, and you all know that I am right!! And let me just say… paying taxes is the dumbest thing. Pretty sure the government gets plenty of my hard earned money from my little paycheck every two weeks, and yet they just want even more in April. Garbage. Total. Garbage.

Also, being an adult is pretty cool. Other than the whole money is dumb thing. I can do WHATEVER I want after work. You know, as long as it is legal. Don’t get ridiculous. Jail is bad. Very bad.

I admire folks who dream of stuff and go do it. With no fear of failure. With no fear of putting themselves out there to be rejected. For their good idea to flop. I admire folks who go after their dreams and throw all caution to the wind. It’s pretty cool ya’ll can do that. I admire folks who have the determination and the motivation to build a business and be consistent. TEACH ME YOUR MAGICAL POWERS. K thanks. Ya’ll are probs those folks who can fold those fruitin fitted sheets.

I admire those folks who are strong in their faith and can hear the voice of our Father speaking as clearly to them as we speak to each other. I admire those folks who run after what He tells them to do and know without a doubt that it doesn’t matter the direction as long as their Guide is with them. He will never lead us to harm or misfortune or fear or doubt.

I deleted Facebook from my phone. I have some consistent praying to do. There’s a heavy weight in our lives that is going to take a while to be free from. But their are miracles every day. And I am claiming one. It’ll come. Each time I go to my phone to scroll through social media, I redirect and pray instead. Over this one specific thing. The Lord will free us from its bondage. We will come to the Light and the holy freedom of our Father through this. Specific prayer, sacrificed desires… they lead to perfect goodness.

Prove It

Ya’ll,

Why did the Lord make me so stubborn and so hard-headed? And so obsessed with doing everything right and never making a mistake?!?! Like seriously… or is all of that of the devil? Shoot. That debate is for another day.

Our Father has been stirring something up in my soul over the past few days, weeks I guess. Confession: I do nothing on Saturday nor Sunday mornings when it’s raining. So, Sunday morning, I woke up thinking I was going to get up and go to church. Ya’ll, I heard thunder and in turn decided to promptly go back to sleep. Will and I listened to church Sunday.

Now, Saturday… the Lord told me to move forward with conquering a fear. WHAT. EVER. I don’t even know what He’s talking about. Then, Sunday He told me to prove my faith and forgive and love my enemy. To walk on the water and leave fear and doubt behind. THEN MONDAY HE TOLD ME THE SAME THING, on top of love blocks out all fear.

Mmmmmmk.

Ya’ll, I really think the Lord has to tell me something three times, at least, for me to wake up and listen and get it. I am still working some things out, and praying for clarity on just what He’s talking about and telling me to do, but I have a FAIRLY DECENT idea. And it is going to be so hard. Like I can’t even. But HE can. And I suppose He will have His way, eventually. I am certain my stubborn self is gonna get in the way for a while, per the usual. In the meantime, I pray for confidence and a willing and open spirit.

I was reminded of another thing today while listening to a sermon as I worked, like the good employee that I am, the Lord came to complete an eternal mission, IN A HUMAN WAY. Ya’ll. I don’t know why that blew my mind. I know that. I know that Jesus came as fully human and fully divine ALL AT THE SAME FRUITIN TIME. That’s like Christianity and Seminary 101. But to hear it, amidst all the things He is telling me lately, I couldn’t handle it. I nearly fell out of my chair.

He is relatable. He never asks us to do something He hasn’t done or couldn’t do, or wouldn’t do. He picked up His cross FOR ALL OF THE WHOLE WORLD AND ALL OF THE PEOPLE FOR ALL OF TIME. We serve a God who loves us no matter what we do, or don’t do. We serve a Dad who sent His Son to save us all from ourselves. From the grip of death that held on so tightly. We serve a Dad who loved us so much, he allowed His Son to die a human death. A horribly excruciating death so that we would not have to. Ya’ll. Why can’t we pick up that cross to do the little things He is urging our spirits to do? We could be what another is longing for. We could be the friend who reaches out at just the right moment. We could be the neighbor who makes another feel welcomed and a part of a community. We could be the co-worker who another can come to for prayer, an encouraging word, an “I know life is hard, but we can conquer whatever this is because HE ALREADY HAS.”

Till next time!

 

Mourning and a Washer

Ya’ll,

Being an adult is so full of ups and downs. Life really truly does remind me of the ocean. The way the waves get really big, and then they dissipate at the shore line. I have always felt a strong sense of peace and of belonging and of purpose when I am in or near the water. It’s as though all of life can be summed up in the patterns of the waves. Or through the ripples that are left behind when a fish comes to get a breathe of air at the top of the water.

A dear sweet friend lost her daddy this past weekend. My entire soul has mourned and hurt right alongside her. The Lord blessed me, I guess you could say, with a soul that wants nothing other than to heal and take away the hurt of my people. Of all the people, I guess. All week, I have wanted to do nothing but to be with her. To sit with her. To just hug her and hope that she feels the Lord hugging her. It’s going to be a hard journey. One every child must fight through I guess. A journey that hurts beyond words. This week has put many things into perspective for me. I know she will be so thankful she spoke to her sweet daddy that afternoon before he passed away. I know she will hear those last words they spoke to each other every day for the rest of forever.

Adulting is hard. On a lighter note, WE GOT A NEW WASHER AND DRYER TODAY. We’ve never not once had a new washer nor dryer. It’s sad what adults get excited over.

Till next time!

 

Soul Sisters

Ya’ll,

I have so many amazing sister friends in my life. But there’s one sister who can just speak so much goodness and holiness and comfort into my life in .2 seconds that I didn’t even know I needed.

Tonight, I got to chat with her. We haven’t spoken in ages, and yet it was as though we had still been talking every single day. We pray over each other’s lives like nobody’s business. We fall out of touch, but even then, we know the power of prayer is still a huge part of our sisterhood. I could go on for so many words and describe how honored and peaceful my soul is, knowing that she’s always in my corner; that she was given to my life by God for such a time as… all of life.

Women, if ya’ll have these sisters in your life, cherish them. Love on them. Thank the good Lord in heaven for placing them in your life. Be. That. Woman. Be the woman who is always lifting the other up. Be the woman we want as a friend. Be the woman who prays over each other, even when contact has been lost for a while. Be the woman who eliminates the stress and the chaos and the hurt and the insecurity in another’s life. If we are these things for someone else, and vice versa, imagine all the darkness we could destroy!

Till next time!

Preacher Man and Doctor Man

Ya’ll,

Let me just say this. The Lord is SO GOOD TO US. He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him. That DOES NOT mean life is easy, nor will it ever be. Because hello, we live in a broken world.

We’ve gone to this new church for three weeks now, and my soul is so joyful. I am thankful beyond measure that the Lord put me in the place of goodness and Truth. A place of holiness and God fearing folks. If He hadn’t, we would not have found this church. This church of joy and kindness and sermons filled with God’s word… not motivational speeches. CAN I GET AN AMEN?!

This past Sunday’s sermon really hit home to me. It was about growing. Growing in spiritual maturity. How easy it is to become complacent and comfortable. How easy it is to jump and risk and take that next step, though. It’s the funnest thing. NOT THE SIMPLEST, though. But for the soul, it is true and good and holy and perfect. Each step forward, each yes we say, each time we open our hearts and minds and thoughts and actions to the Lord, our spiritual maturity increases. The more we say “yes Lord, move me, guide me, and push me,” the more we grow in His spirit. The more we will not be shaken. The more we will be able to stand on steady and stable ground.

The next step. We always talk about moving forward and gaining perspective. But what if we were not supposed to strive for the knowledge of “why” and “how?” What if we were just to say yes and go do the things? What if it were as simple as that? Without the pressure of figuring out the reason? What if?

Ya’ll, I went to the doc today for my post-surgery appointment. I SAT IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF AND I WAS WITH THE DOCTOR FOR LITERALLY .2 SECONDS. Not even a full second. I swear I was so bored my eyes were going cross-eyed. He said to eat healthy and that it’d take several more months for my body to heal. DUUUUHHHHHH. You know those meetings that totes could have been an email?! THIS WAS ONE OF THEM. I wasted nearly two hours of my day with this mess. So thanks, Doc, for telling me what I already knew and wasting both of our time. One of us got paid well for those .2 seconds.

What is your next step forward? Is it being nice to that aggravating as a mosquito co-worker? Is it forgiving that friend or family member who wronged ya? Is it forgiving yourself so you can move into the freedom of Jesus? Is it being present in the moment, for yourself, for your family, for your spouse, etc.? Is it putting down your screens and quieting the moments around you so that you can hear the Lord’s voice?

There’s always a next step. YA’LL, if you are looking for a church in the area… COME WITH US. WILL EVEN LIKES IT. I haven’t heard anyone say the things this preacher fella says in a long time. The old one spoiled us all rotten! Now, they meet at the crack of dawn, 10:00AM. It’s the only draw-back, for us sleep laters.

Till next time!

Podcasts and Truth

Ya’ll,

Let me just tell you. Medical bills are probably the worst of all the bills. It’s like, “oh for this one, you us 9.00.” They make you think you’re getting away with removing your gallbladder for next to nothing. THEN BAM,”you now owe your first born child,” THAT WE DON’T EVEN HAVE YET.

With that being said, it’s been a struggle the past month. BUT THE LORD IS SO GOOD TO US. He made a way, and we made it. We will continue to make one right step after the other to get back on the we ain’t broke as stink train. So yay for adulting and still not folding that fitted sheet.

Marriage is grand, when you are with the person you were given by the Lord to spend your days and nights and adventures and hardships with. The one who the Lord gave you to share your fears with, your joys with, your tears with, your laughter, and your secrets. Pretty sure I also just described my best friend of a bazillion years, but that is besides the point.

I love being married to Will. I love when he introduces me as his wife, when he actually remembers to introduce me. Usually because, LIKE ME, he doesn’t remember the name of the person in front of us. BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH TO REMEMBER AS AN ADULT, NAMES FORSAKE US.¬† I love coming home to him after a long, successful day at work. I love cuddling on the couch and watching comedy shows that we have become obsessed with. However, at this moment in time….. three of the four dogs are trying to knock this very computer off my lap. I could totes do without that.

The Lord told me something today. To wait, to taste and to see that He is good.

YA’LL. I have never not once been a fan of podcasts… I mean who wants to sit and listen to someone speak for HOURS on whatever they think is cool or interesting? BORING. BUT THEN… my now job is kinda quiet. And we all know how much I adore the quiet. NOT. So, I remembered my fave, Jen Hatmaker, has a podcast. AND LET ME TELL YOU… it is perfection. So much goodness. In between all the work… I took TWO PAGES OF NOTES FROM HER PODCAST. Who am I????? A student. A lifelong student of all of the things I suppose.

Take the next right step over and over and over. Be kind to yourself. PERFECTION IS LITERALLY NOT A THING FOR HUMANS. Unless you are speaking on Jen’s podcast… because then there are perfect words and goodness and the Lord speaks right on through them to whatever lucky person is listening. Those are the things that I was reminded of today, because the Lord put that thought into my soul to find Jen today.

Isn’t God the Good, Good Father? He loves us so much, ya’ll. He puts people and inklings and intuition right into your life. Each day. OPEN YOUR EYES AND YOUR SOUL TO THESE THINGS. The joy that will come, is just…. there are no words for the greatness and peace.

Till next time!

Unrealistic Perfection

Ya’ll,

Let me just tell ya’ll… I am a perfectionist. AND I HATE MAKING MISTAKES. Like seriously. I make a mistake… and I dwell on it for hours, days even. No matter how minute or unimportant to life it is.

So… that being said… I am the new girl at work. AGAIN. Because, hello. I have said it before, THE LORD MADE ME A WANDERER. But I at least stayed in the same career field this time. So that’s a plus, right?? I have been a teacher, a secretary, an insurance person, a Realtor (one of my favorites), a financial advisor, a lender, a teller, etc. So, being the new girl.. and still semi in training, I tell myself all the time that I am going to make mistakes. THIS IS A DIFFICULT JOB, YA’LL. No matter how much I focus and concentrate and look over stuff, I still miss little dumb things. AND IT MADE ME MAD TODAY. It put me in a TOTAL funk.

Then, I came home… to more junk news. Being an adult is SO HARD. It’s literally like folding a fitted sheet. Who even can do that anyways?? If you can, you are magical and a unicorn and are probably LYING.

I have been listening to Jesus the past few hours. He has taught me something. Well, reminded me of something anyways. No matter how hard I try, I am NOWHERE close to perfection. I am mere human. I will make mistakes, and I will miss things. I may get really really grand at this job, which is 100% my intention, but I will never do all of the things perfectly all of the time.

How many of us need to remind ourselves that we live in Freedom? The ultimate freedom? Freedom from darkness and sin and people pleasing and striving for perfection? We are free to be who the Lord created us to be. We are free to live in His love and grace and goodness and holiness. We won’t ever be perfect, ya’ll. Life will NEVER be perfect, because we live in a very fallen world. We will always have bad days, rough to get through news, and stupid budgets for the money we ain’t got (my Southern comes out too much, sometimes). BUT the good news is, the LORD SAVED US FROM OURSELVES. He saved us from all of the wretchedness and sin. He is our Love, our Light, and our Forgiveness. We are free to go about our days loving the ones that we see, leading the ones who need our help, and proving to everyone that the Lord is good and holy and perfection. He is I Am. He is All Things. He is Pure Everything. SHOOOTTAAHHH.

Till next time!

Balancing Act

Ya’ll,

Some God things have been going on, per the usual.

I love my job. I love the environment, the work, the people, the “using my brain,” all the kindness and the goodness you always wish for in a work place. I am so lucky and grateful.

Two of my new co-workers invited us to their churches. AND IT IS SO CRAZY. We have gone to both in the past two Sundays. AND SOME OF THE MESSAGE HAS BEEN THE EXACT SAME. Both preachers spoke of balance, of using what you already have for the goodness and glory of God, and for the help and love of those around us.

Balance is something I have always wanted. To spend the same amount of time with my people as I do at work. To love both places, to be fulfilled in both places. Work and life balance is a hard thing to come to, and yet…. I think I have finally arrived. I THINK. I at least get home before it’s time to go to bed, and before the sun even thinks about going down. So I am taking that as a total win.

HOWEVER, I am struggling with the same thing I have always struggled with. I long for adventures and excitement, and yet all at the same time, I am quite ok with this small life and my people. The people and the places that have been a constant for the past… a lot of years. I think this is the balance my soul needs. Balance between the smallness and the routine of normal life, and the adventures of new sceneries and cultures and people. It’s a constant struggle. I know we’re to be content with what the Good Lord has blessed us with… but aren’t we to desire more in this world than just stuff and money and routines and smallness? But instead desire more experiences with the people and the lands the Lord created?

I truly love my small group of close-knit, God sent friends who have become more like family. I truly love the home Will and I are building together. I learned on the island that a small realm of influence doesn’t mean a small realm of effectiveness. And yet, adventure and change and new always calls to me…. LORD HELP ME FIGURE THIS MESS OUT AND GIVE ME THE WISDOM I NEED TO REMAIN IN YOUR PEACE AND CLARITY. K THANKS.

Till next time!

Sunshine and Longer Days

Ya’ll,

Can I just say… after Christmas, I just think the weather should cooperate and move on ahead to Spring and longer sunnier days. I NEED CRAWFISH. There’s just something so good about sunshine and shorts and crawfish and friends surrounding the wooden table with holes in it to throw the crawfish shells overboard.

So many things about life mimic the seasons. Some things change, some things die away, some things are refreshed and renewed, and some things make you warm and cozy like ALL THINGS PUMPKIN season. I am in a season of refreshing and renewing. My life just ebbs and flows like freakin tidal waves, but it’s whatever. I am never in the same place for too long… I suppose the Lord decides I’ll get complacent… it’s not like He knows me or anything ya’ll. It’s not like I thrive in change and the forceful moments the Lord puts in my face that make me turn around and realize what is going on. Sometimes… ya just gotta say yikes and move forward. Sometimes ya gotta say hells bells and let it go. Sometimes ya gotta say I’m sorry. Sometimes ya gotta remember it aint all about you and other folks exist who are going through the same thing, or a different thing. BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A THING TO BE GOING THROUGH. Because hello… life tests us to no end.

It’s so easy to get stuck on one thing… one “defining” moment in your life. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we just think that we fail, and that assumed failure is exactly what pushes ya straight to your place in time. YOU WERE MADE FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS. You were created to serve our Good Father. You were made for a relationship WITH THE CREATOR OF THE WHOLE WORLD. How amazing is that? I’m super pumped I serve the God who made crawfish and sunshine and warm days and my friends. I am super grateful that I can have a relationship with the God who made my husband… because He can show me how to handle his snoring and ridiculous boyish ways. I DO NOT HANDLE HIS SNORING. I PUNCH HIS ARM AND MAKE HIM HUSH. Can’t win them all.

Join me in praying for more sunshine because I AM OVER THE RAIN AND THE BOAT WE HAVE TO GET IN TO GO THROUGH OUR RIDICULOUSLY WET BACKYARD. I am also over the dogs not being able to stay outside BECAUSE THERE IS A YARD THAT IS ACTUALLY A MUD PIT.

Till next time!!

 

Tired

Ya’ll,

I. AM. TIRED. Like legit tired. I am tired of recouping from surgery and not being able to do all the things all the time. Today was seriously a terrible day… I wore real pants all day and came home crying. No joke. I am a wuss and I loathe constant pain. I am tired of cleaning up after four dogs. No matter how stinkin’ cute they are. I need someone to create a puppy…. or a drug of some sort… that stops the madness that is called shedding. And also something that stops them from thinking pottying in the house is a good idea SINCE IT HAS BEEN FLOODING AND WE NEED NOAH’S ARK TO GO ANYWHERE. NOT EVEN THE ISLAND PUPPY IS OK WITH THIS. And let me just tell you… this puppy momma is OVER. IT. Like give me a bazillion acres just real quick like so these dogs can run around like the monsters they are sometimes. K thanks.

Ya’ll, life is rough. Whenever you think you’ve made it and are on the other side of whatever it is that you need to be on the other side of… BAM… there’s something else. We found a new show, it’s called The Good Place. Ya’ll… check it out. I’ve been thinking about one particular scene from the season finale… a molotov cocktail… it always gives you a different problem. LIKE CALM DOWN LIFE. I went to the doc for my follow up the other day…. and my gallbladder never grew correctly, nor was it ever IN THE RIGHT PLACE. I have my dad’s genes to thank for this mess. NOT. COOL.

Ya’ll, I found out some dear friends of ours are coming to visit soon and I COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED. I need a refresher. I need the laughter that can come only from visits with genuine, honest to goodness, God-sent friends. I say it a bazillion times, and I am going to say it again… your people make life so much better. So much more fun and good and silly and perfect. They clear out the negative and the doubt and the blas√© of life and create a space of excitement and joy.

Joy… perhaps that should be my word of 2019. I never last with those… for more than like a few days… if that. It’s like the diet resolution… but to focus on a word to encompass your life. Perhaps I will get better at this… or perhaps I will cry again tomorrow because I have to wear real pants that sit right up on two of my incisions from surgery… all. day.

Till next time!