It’s pumpkin all the things season! I am SO happy! Cooler weather, sweaters, blankets, and PSLs EVERY DAY. Praise Jesus for pumpkin season! It’s an actual season, ya’ll. It is.
We’ve been going through some heavy stuff this past month. My heart has broken a little, and my soul has been entirely too weary. The Lord took us to the Caribbean for a reason. What that reason was, we may never know. But we’re stronger. Our marriage is AWESOME. Now, the Lord has brought us back to good ole Mississippi. We may never know why He did that, either. However, I’m thankful we were not in the path of any hurricane. I pray for those who were. The Caribbean cannot handle those wretched moments of Mother Nature’s mood swings like America can.
Do you ever sit back and wonder what on earth the Lord is doing? Or why He’s doing it the way He’s doing it? Do you ever get so frustrated at life, that you wonder if God has even been listening to anything you’ve ever said? My emotions have been all over the place, and yet nowhere at all, for an entire month. I realized the other day that so much of my 20’s has been one ridiculous early mid life crisis. But yet again, I’ve learned a LOT. Go figure. Whatever Jesus. What. Ever.
Here’s something I’ve learned. We have NOOOOO idea what is going to happen no matter how hard we try or pray or move forward. The floor could fall right out from underneath you. What do you do then? Do you run? Do you grab on to whatever or whomever is closest? Do you run and hide under the bed hoping the monsters won’t find you in their own hiding spot? I’d really like to say I do none of these, but hiding under the blankets when life gets just to be just too much is really my cup of coffee. Do you remain faithful and trust that what the Lord does and says and is, is good and true? I floundered a little bit in this one; I will admit it. Sometimes it’s hard to continue pushing forward when ya don’t know where that forward is. Sometimes it’s hard to continue praying and straining to hear God speak when your heart is heavy and your soul is too weary to even comprehend the world.
I am a control freak, ya’ll. It’s the teacher in me, I suppose. Everything must be planned. Always. There’s a lesson plan for every moment of life, right? Wrong. Life is hard. The only guarantee, the only consistently solid ground we can stand on is the Truth of the Lord’s promises. Seriously. Why is the Lord always teaching me this lesson!? Why don’t I ever remember that one? Control. Freak. I like to be in control. I like to have all my ducks in a row. Who doesn’t? Those brave souls who live life flying by the seat of their pants. I envy them; I do. Yes…. I’m aware envy’s a sin. I’m in seminary, after all.
How do ya’ll do that? Just fly? All the time? And never wonder where you’ll land? I like to know where I’m going to land. And yet, no matter what has happened, or what will happen, the Lord always provides solidity in some way. A smile from my husband, a hug from my God-sent sister, a visit with my best friend since 4th grade (we’re now 29, do the math). There are so many ways the Lord shows us who He is, what He aches over, how much He loves us. Do we see it? Are our hearts opened enough to Him that we can recognize those sweet moments from Him? Or are we too concerned with what the next step has to be that we miss His whispers and fleeting moments?
Till next time!